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Pretty Maids all in a Row
Angie Dickinson, Rock Hudson, Telly Savalas
Directed by Roger Vadim
MGM 1970
Warner Archives 2010

Directed by Roger Vadim of Brigitte Bardot fame, written by Gene Roddenberry, and starring Rock Hudson as a libidinous coach and Telly Savalas as a Detective, Pretty Maids All in a Row is a bizarre and oddly entertaining murder mystery sex farce. Only available from Warner Archive, the Pretty Maids All in a Row almost belongs with the Kojak DVDs in your collection. Though remastered, the print here shows the occasional spec and glitch. The movie has its share of naughty nudie bits.

Ponce de Leon Harper (John David Carson of just about nothing fame) is a very horny high school student. Mrs. Smith (Angie Dickinson) causes him to … stand at attention … so he goes to the boy’s washroom where he finds a dead cheerleader. Enter Telly Savalas as the detective in charge of solving the crime. Soon other girls show up dead.

The detective suspects the school’s football coach and guidance counselor played by Rock Hudson. It seems Hudson has a very hands-on technique to counseling the pretty coeds. Meanwhile, he talks Mrs. Smith into tutoring Ponce in the finer points of sex ed.

The story here is your basic nudge nudge wink wink sex romp with a murder mystery tie-in. If you watch the Pretty Maids All in a Row DVD for the thriller part you will be disappointed. As a comic farce it has its moments.

Pretty Maids All in a Row is not much more than a fun, very lightweight, and odd movie.