Colm Feore, Elisha Cuthbert, Cle Bennett
Shawn Doyle, Lyriq Bent
Sunday Sept 6th and Monday Sept 7th 2009 8 P.M.
CBC Television

If this CBC drama airs in the U.S. it will probably be advertised as a comedy. That is exactly how bad Guns is. This ahem drama airs Sunday Sept. 6th and Monday Sept 7th  2009 at 8 P.M. It is the kind of show you won’t want to miss if every other network is airing a test pattern and TSN is featuring lawn bowling prelims.

Guns purports to be a drama about gun violence in Canada. A young girl gets killed in broad daylight after some kind of drive by shooting. This is but the latest gun related crime in Generic City (Toronto). The cops investigate and make a connection to a legitimate international gun dealer (Colm Feore phoning it in on a rotary). Stuff happens and lots of useless scenes go by. The cops end up racing against time to protect their one remaining witness after things to badly –and I’m not talking about the show this time.

All this in two parts and four hours including welcomed commercial breaks.

Nothing really works in Guns. The bad guys wouldn’t scare a boy scout, the young girl’s mother can’t even muster a tear or two in her dramatic scenes, it is hard to believe the two cops made it past giving tickets in the burbs, and the pacing is as glacial as Winnipeg in January. The equipment used by the cops such as the GPS locator and the bug they put on their snitch seems to have been picked up from the dumpster behind Radio Shack aka Circuit City Canada.

These cops are so lame they still use Yahoo as a search engine. True, it could have been Altavista. The writing is so bad there is a scene where the snitch tells his fellow bad guys he is a snitch.

The only thing Guns is successful at is filling the compulsory Canadian content every network must have in Canada.

This drama airs on the CBC Sunday September 6th and Monday September 7th at 8:00. Uncheck your local listing.